Monday, December 5, 2011


Today is not so great after all...  After dinner, I wanted to do some Teach Time with Rayyan and proceeded to prepare some tasks for him.  After showing him the schedule, he sat obediently on his chair and eyed the 'treats' I have prepared for him.

He did the first few tasks well enough but later became more demanding, for example, when I wanted to proceed to the next activity after doing a few spelling puzzles, he protested and wanted to do more spelling puzzles.  I complied.  Then I took out one simple worksheet for him and gave him a pencil.  That was when he started crying and protesting.  At this point, my blood was boiling.  I can still understand if he at least tried but he wasn't even concentrating on the worksheet.  I tried to coax him.  I encouraged him to try and assured him but he cried louder and louder and at this point, I just snapped!

I took his palm and gave it a few slaps.. HARD.  He was shocked and in pain because he was rubbing his palm.  Then I scolded him and surprisingly, he kept quiet.  I think he knew that I was angry with him.  Then he started sobbing and my heart was in pieces when I saw the tears streaming down his cheeks.  But I was too angry.  I then pushed him away and told him to go to bed.  He wanted to come near me but I pushed him away again.

He then followed Hubby to the bedroom and I heard him cry for a while.  Then, after a few minutes, he was laughing and shouting happily and refused to sleep... Sigh... He has forgotten all that has happened earlier but I didn't... I was sitting on the sofa, feeling really guilty, reflecting on what happened earlier..  I shouldn't have given him those slaps on his palm.  I shouldn't push him away.  It was already his bedtime and maybe, he was just tired.  I should have done Teach Time much earlier during the day.  I felt horrible.  And I didn't want the day to end like this.

I went back to the room but I wasn't all mushy with him because even though I felt guilty, I didn't want him to think that he can get away with anything just by crying.  I told him that I was very angry with him for throwing a tantrum and since he was all hyped up, I brought him back to finish the task!  I didn't know then if it was the right move but I just wanted him to finish the task.  Surprisingly, he complied and finished the task within seconds!  The task was relatively easy for him, he just didn't want to do it!

Then I hugged him, told him that I was proud of him for finishing the task, reminded him not to be naughty again and sent him off to bed.  I didn't know if he understood but I felt so much better.  I really hope he did too.

I pray for a better day tomorrow.  Hope your day was better than mine... And yes, if you're curious, here's the worksheet that caused all the ruckus..