Sunday, August 21, 2011


Rayyan's 5th birthday is in 3 months time and I am already planning for his party! So exciting! The last time we had a big birthday party for him was when he turned one. I booked a company bungalow at Changi and the theme was 'Jungle Animals'. As I am very into all these stuffs, the planning was very detailed.. I bought balloons and party stuffs all the way from US, ordered a lion cake for him, bought animal party favours, planned many kiddy games and even roped my teacher friends in as party organisers/hosts! His birthday invitation was hand-drawn by Hubby and we even made the birthday banner ourselves!

And I would have done this every single year for his birthday if not for the fact that when he turned two, he started to hate crowd and shunned away from people. Of coz, we want him to be happy on his birthday so for the past 3 birthdays, his birthday celebrations were confined to family members. But this year, I want to do another party for him, not as big as his first one but I want to invite some of his friends over. We want to invite about 10-15 of his friends from school and some personal friends, all as special as he is :)

So yes, we are very, very excited.. The theme has been set and I am surfing the net for stuffs. Hopefully our little precious and all his precious friends will enjoy themselves :D

Memories of Rayyan's first birthday bash...

The invitation card drawn by Daddy

The cute party favours

The birthday boy ;) 

Our precious

Cheeky :P

Lion for Rayyan..hehe.. 
And yummylicious jungle-themed cupcakes :)

Birthday boy overwhelmed by the crowd!

and yes, the words and animals behind were all done by me and Hubby :)

My family members <3

2-way communication

I have been pretty down lately, down and worried... even though Rayyan is learning more words, he still has difficulty initiating a conversation. Without his PECS, he has difficulty even requesting. The thing is, we know that he really wants to try, we know that he really wants to communicate with us and tell us what he wants.  It is just very, very difficult for him to do so. Urghhh.. Why are you so malicious and cruel, Autism?

I try to understand but sometimes, I have difficulty understanding the difficulties that he is facing. Sometimes I fail to understand and feel that he is just lazy, or that he just doesn't want to try... And sometimes when I am frustrated, I will start raising my voice at Rayyan (and yes, even Hubby is not spared of my wrath)... and then I will feel all guilty afterwards. Oh God, please give me the strength to face the challenges ahead, please give me the strength to help my boy...

And you my dear boy, please forgive Mummy if Mummy is too hard on you. Mummy just wants to help you. And to my dear Hubby, please forgive me if I am hard on you too. I know I have very high expectations and it's hard for you to keep up. I know you are trying your best. We need each other, you and I, we are in this for a lifetime...

On a brighter note, we have our good times... Like few days back, at Swensen's... We were waiting for our ice-cream and Rayyan was getting rather impatient. He really wants the ice-cream and couldn't sit still. He wants the ice-cream FAST! So, while waiting, I asked him a couple of questions..

Me : You want rice?
Rayyan : NO!
Me : You want water?
Rayyan : NO!
Me : You want to go toilet?
Rayyan : NO!

And then, he raised his voice and said...

Me and Hubby had a really good laugh!

And this morning, after he woke up, he took his ELMO's ABC book and we read together. I asked him many questions.  Rayyan was looking at me, finding the alphabets, responding to my questions, dancing and doing actions. We enjoyed ourselves and I really cherish this moment. Thank you, God. Please bless us with more moments like this :)

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Yes! and No!

We have always had difficulty getting Rayyan to tell us 'yes' or 'no'. Before Rayyan was able to speak, he would nod or shake his head but sometimes we were not even sure if he knew the meaning of nodding and shaking his head.

But now that he can say, yes and no, it's easier for us. We ask him a lot of questions everyday for him to practice his yes and no. This may seem like an insignificant feat but it means so much to us and a major milestone for Rayyan!

Even though his answers are a simple yes or no, it seems like we are finally having a conversation with him ;)

Thank you dear God for all the small improvements that Rayyan has made, it means so, so much to us!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Fracture

Three weeks ago, after picking Rayyan up from school, Hubby brought him to the playground as usual. There, Hubby noticed that Rayyan wasn't his usual self, he kept holding his hand and upon close scrutiny, Hubby discovered that his pinkie (left hand) was slightly swollen. When Hubby asked if it was painful, he will say PAIN! Hubby called Rayyan's school but the teachers told him that they didn't notice anything different that day, Rayyan didn't fall and they were not aware of any accidents happening earlier.

At night, we massaged his finger but the next day, the swollen became worse. We knew that something was not right and brought him to KKH. There, one of our worst nightmares came true. Rayyan fractured his finger and had to be in a cast. Hubby was the one who brought him to KKH and I am thankful to Hubby for handling it all alone.

We were afraid that Rayyan couldn't handle the fact that his hand would be in a cast and would protest strongly when the doc put on the cast but surprisingly, he was cooperative and didn't cry when the cast was put on. But he felt uncomfortable after that and kept requesting that we take off his cast. He would also keep pulling on his cast and it became loose after only three days and Hubby had to bring Rayyan to KKH to re-bandage his hand!

Rayyan had to be in cast for 3-4 weeks. After 2 weeks, Hubby brought him to KKH again to take off his old cast and put on a new one. That was chaotic!! After the cast was taken off, Rayyan was happy and thought that he was cast-free. When the nurses tried to apply a new cast, he went berserk! Screamed and cried at the top of his lungs!! And he continued to scream and cry even after Hubby left the room.  Hubby said that everybody was staring at him and Rayyan! Hubby was so stressed that he almost didn't make payment! 

After the screaming episode, I made the decision to follow Hubby for the third appointment, which was this morning. Not easy for me to apply for childcare leave but I'm glad my principal understood. Rayyan had an x-ray done and I kept praying that his finger has healed and luckily, it did!!!! Doc said the cast can be taken off for good!! Yippeee!!

Rayyan was still and quiet when the doc started to cut off his bandage. He then got impatient and kept tugging the bandage! Hubby had to hold his hand to prevent it from getting cut!

Here's our dear boy observing how the doc removed his bandage...

So Rayyan is finally cast-free!!! But he has not gotten used to the fact that the cast is no longer there. His hand movements are funny and he kept looking at his hand. But I'm sure he'll start climbing at the playground again pretty soon. I'm sure he misses the playground badly! This is definitely an unforgettable episode, one that we hope we will never have to go through again!!!!

Btw, we are still clueless on how his finger got hurt. Hubby was very, very sure that it happened in school but seriously, we do not blame the school. Rayyan can't tell when something bad happens, he can't tell the teachers when he's hurt and I'm sure that even if he cries in school, it's difficult for the teachers to pinpoint the cause. We are just glad that the school is willing to accept responsibility and pay the medical expenses. 

And lastly, I don't think that his peers bullied him because they have been so protective of him! The school has taught these kids well. They are empathetic and will always protect Rayyan.  When he came to school with the cast, Hubby was bombarded with never-ending questions. These kids even feed Rayyan during snack time!! Just watch this video and you'll know what I mean... :))