Sunday, October 3, 2010

Not Enough

I stumbled across a blog today which is truly inspirational. It is written by a mother of an ASD child from Brunei. Coincidentally, the boy's name is Raiyan (which was actually why I was attracted to the blog in the first place).

Anyway, the boy is brilliant and is making wonderful progress. He was diagnosed at age 4 years 7 months. By the time, he was 3 and a half, he was reading 6B of the Peter and Jane books, he could count up to 50, completely mastered the skills of using a computer, including playing games and searching for his favourite things on Google, he could write out all alphabets and numbers and he can practically name all the animals that exist or used to exist in this world!! After he was diagnosed, he was immediately placed on 13 hours/week sessions of ABA. He made tremendous progress after ABA. His play skills, communication skills and social skills improved by leaps and bounds. I was in awe of what he was able to accomplish in just a short period of time. I applaud the mother's patience and tireless dedication.

Spurred after reading her posts, I want to do so much more for Rayyan. I want to play more with him, I want to have more teaching sessions with him, I want to communicate more with him. I can't afford ABA but I can teach him on my own. Actually, I must admit I was actually feeling so, so guilty after reading the blog. No doubt, each child is different and I can't compare my child with others but I feel that I am just not doing enough. I was too busy with work, it left me exhausted every day. Because of that, I used that as an excuse to leave the teaching to my helper. In the evening, after an exhausting day, I told myself I need to rest and immerse myself in the tv or the internet, busy checking my Facebook account or other unimportant stuffs.

That precious time could have been used to teach Rayyan, for the betterment of Rayyan. Time is precious, time doesn't wait for us and I am just wasting time doing things that are insignificant. Sometimes I feel that I am running away from it all, running away from the fact that my son is ASD and needs me more than anything else. I need to find my focus. I need to get on the right track. I need to help Rayyan.