Now that the hols are here, things are not so hectic and I am able to concentrate on Rayyan. Have been doing a lot of reading and preparing visual supports. Also, every night, my Hubby and I will bring Rayyan for a walk around the neighbourhood in his stroller. We just want him to unwind before he goes to sleep and at the same time, it gives both of us the opportunity to have a good talk.
There have been changes to our plans for 2011. Initially, the plan was for me to take part-time teaching for half a year and then continue for another half a year or Hubby will quit his job and take care of him. But recently, we see a pressing need for either one of us to be with him 24/7 so that we can do all the necessary follow-ups. Especially since he has started his speech therapy sessions with a new therapist and we have to diligently do the 'homework' given by the therapist.
So after much discussion, we have decided that Hubby will be the one to take care of him. It is not easy for us to come to this decision but this is the best option we have so far. My job is more stable than his and we can't afford for him to get retrenched if I stop working. I am also still serving my bond with the government. Apart from that, Hubby can also drive so this makes it easier for him to bring Rayyan for his therapy sessions at Orchard (we don't have a car but my sis' car is readily available...thank u Sis :)) And the most important factor is, my husband is very, very patient and can manage his emotions much better than I do. I get agitated and worried easily and when things don't go my way, I can get pretty emotional :( No doubt I am much better at teaching and all but in the long run, we decided it is best that my Hubby resigns and takes care of him full time.
So yes, my Hubby has tendered his resignation and I have cancelled my part-time teaching position. Hubby will be a SAHD soon and I hope he is ready to take on this challenging position. If you are reading this Hubby, thank you so, so much. This is a really, really huge sacrifice and you are taking it on with so much positivity and enthusiasm. Don't you worry, I will always be around to help and support you. I am sure that Rayyan is very proud to have a Daddy like you. I know that I am proud to have a Hubby like you :)
So I am working hard to put the structures in place this hols so that it is easier for Hubby next year. And financially, things are definitely not going to be easy for us. We really have to tighten our belts.... No expensive holidays, no more branded bags for me (I do indulge in 2 or 3 each year to reward myself but that will have to go also), we have to cut down on eating out, especially in restaurants, etc, etc.... But now that I think of it, these are really small sacrifices..... And if things get really bad, I might even have to take on tuition assignments. I have to work really hard next year... apart from my own job, I also have to teach and guide Hubby and teach Rayyan when I get back from work.
2011 is definitely not going to be easy but if Rayyan shows improvements from all these sacrifices that we are making, then our hard work is not wasted. That is the best reward that we can hope for...
A colleague whom I really respect told me this..
Unpredictable challenges enrich and spice up our lives towards a meaningful existence. Each one of us has a mission to fulfill in this life. Yours and mine may be different but at the end of the day, it is our accountability to the mission that counts. If you can say at the end of each day, "I have done the best I can", that is enough. The rest leave it to God's will....
So yes, my Hubby and I want to be able to tell ourselves each day that.. "We have done our best."
Please guide us in this journey God.... Amin....