Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hide and Seek

When I picked Rayyan up this morning from his childcare centre, I asked the teacher if he threw any tantrums in the morning. I was so glad when she said that he behaved well today. This wasn't the case past two occasions..

First occasion, the teacher told me that he usually can't keep toys away. When the teacher told the kids to keep their toys and prepare for lunch, he refused to do so and when one of his peers took away the animal that he was holding, he threw a huge tantrum. The teacher then passed the animal back to him but he was too angry and threw the animal away!! Attitude!

Second occasion, the teacher said that he didn't like the show that was being played on television and insisted that the show be replaced with another. How did the teacher know that he didn't like the show? Well, he tugged the teacher's hand and led her to the front where the television was and kept jumping and crying. Stopped crying as soon as the show was changed!! Attitude!

Told the therapist about this and she said that this behaviour of his needs to be shaped. He always wants things his way. This will be a hindrance to his learning and development if not shaped from now. When I think back, I guess this is partly our fault. We always play a game of hide and seek because the thing with him is that if he doesn't see it, he doesn't make a fuss. At home, we will tidy up his playroom after he has gone to bed. At my sis' place, the maid will clear the toys after he has left. Once, the maid actually kept the toys in front of him and when he saw the maid keeping the toys, he threw a big tantrum! The maid was shocked and gave him back the toys. So he knows that by crying, he gets his way!

So the past few days, I made him keep his toys. As predicted, he made a big fuss but we followed through with the process. Now, after about a week, he will still whine and cry but not as loud as before. In fact, even though he is whining and crying, his hands will be taking the toys and putting them in the box. Yesterday, I made him keep the toys at my sis' place. This is a bigger challenge because the maid and grandma are there and they will always give him his way to avoid the tantrums. He cried but he helped keep the toys away. Not too bad..

Yes, we have to conquer his problems and not avoid them. We have been doing this all this time and it's not doing him any good. For example, he has been crying every morning when his Daddy prepare him for school because I am around and he wants to be with me. So I have been hiding in the toilet every morning!! If he doesn't see me, he won't make a fuss. But my therapist said nope, just let him cry. We are not doing him any good.

So yesterday, I did not seek refuge in the toilet. Before he left, I kissed him, told him to be a good boy and that I will pick him up later. He seemed to understand. Cried a bit but not as loud as before! Phew! I was so so glad... So we really have to stop this game of hide and seek...