Initially, we kept asking... why is this happening to us? Why is it that our son is plagued with this 'illness'? We do not have any family members with autism (not that we know of anyway).. I have bright nephews and niece, so does hubby... So WHY?
These are the possible reasons that I listed in my head..
1) We must have committed too many sins and God is punishing us for our sins.
2) We had Rayyan when I was 32 and hubby was 35 so maybe age played a part here.
3) I didn't take care of my pregnancy.. I remember that I was in NIE (final year) when I conceived him. Life was stressful and I was so busy that I didn't even have a proper gynae. In fact, it got to a point when I thought gynae was not important as the pregnancy was going well (no pains nor morning sickness, nothing) and I just went to KKH for my regular check-ups and finally, checked into KKH to deliver. Again, since I did not have a gynae, the doctor on duty (no specific one) took care of me. And since they were so busy doing their rounds, I wasn't really taken care of. I went through 18 hours of labour and after the harrowing labour, I had to go through C-section as they found that my birth canal was too small and baby couldn't push his way out. This wouldn't have happened if I had a gynae! My baby was distressed because he couldn't make his way out! Maybe that is the reason why he is affected...
4) Maybe it's really because of immunisations. Many mums with ASD kids, in the US especially, believe that immunisations cause autism. This is because their babies are all growing up normally but after going through the 18th month immunisation, they regressed, lost the skills they acquired earlier and it is downhill from then on... I remember that Rayyan was growing normally and healthily earlier... good eye contact, babbling, reaching out for things that he wanted, attentive... I even went through his earlier videos and find that at 19 weeks he was 'communicating' more with us than he is now...
This is a video I took of him when he was 19 weeks.....
At 17 months...
So again... WHY?? Maybe it's one or a combination of those reasons. Maybe it's none of those and it's something else... But you know what, after a while, we decided not to dwell on it anymore. It is better to look at the future than the past. We will never know why and even if we do, what good will it do? We just want to focus on the present now and help our boy. That's most important...
