Tuesday, March 9, 2010


School is at its crazy, hectic peak and I am truly, truly exhausted.. I am finding myself spending almost 12 hours in school each day and then, continuing with school work at home! Worse, I still feel that I am short-changing my students because most of the time, I am bogged down with senseless paper work!

But of course, the saddest part is I am also short-changing my boy. There're just so many things that I want to do but simply don't have the time nor energy. And each day I feel so guilty that I told myself that I must do something about this or I will live with regret..

And finally, I made the decision to take 1 year no-pay leave next year. Financially, it will be tough.. We have to pay for Rayyan's EIPIC and therapies which can be pretty costly. I might even have to take up a few tuition assignments to get by but I am more than willing to make these sacrifices.

At least, I can be with my boy without worrying about the school admin stuffs that I did not complete, without worrying about books and assignments that I have not checked, without worrying about work at all...

And the best part is, I am feeling very, very excited about this. The fact that I can spend every minute of my waking time with Rayyan is so exhilarating! I want to read books on autism, I want to try different strategies and interventions, I want to carry out different activities with him. But most importantly, I just want to spend quality time with him and get to know him.

All these come with sacrifices and again, I know it will be tough.... But with good intentions, I am sure God will help us through...