Hubby and I were just discussing about the kids with autism that we know and we were lamenting over how some of them are faring better than our boy, that it is so much easier for them to do certain things and pick up certain skills and so difficult for Rayyan to do so. Maybe this is not fair to our boy, that we shouldn't compare him to others but with his IQ assessment around the corner and we are still unsure which school he will move on to next year, well, we couldn't help ourselves. We are just extremely worried..
We keep telling ourselves that autism is a spectrum.... those in the spectrum can be anywhere within the spectrum, whether at the higher or the lower end. Fortunately for those at the higher end, they pick up skills pretty easily... talking, writing, following instructions, etc, they don't require as much coaching and guidance as the ones at the lower end.
We know of mothers who have never sent their children for any therapies or classes (their children only attend EIPIC and a mainstream kindergarten) and yet, the kids are doing so wonderfully well. At the same time, we know of parents who sent their children to many different therapies and classes, who provided so much support at home but these parents are so frustrated because the children are progressing at a snail's pace.
So at the end of the day, what does it come down to? ACCEPTANCE. This is a reminder to myself and Hubby that we cannot expect our boy to be someone else, that we have to accept his limitations, that we have to accept him for who he is. I am not saying that we should withdraw him from all his classes or just let him do whatever he wants at home. As parents, we must try our best to guide him, support him, teach him and simply do our best to help him. In fact, in our case, we have to work harder than other parents.
We should aim for PROGRESS rather than perfection. We should always focus on his STRENGTHS and not his weaknesses. We shouldn't strive for Rayyan to be just like those high-functioning children we know, instead we should strive for Rayyan to reach his FULL POTENTIAL.
Ten, twenty years down the road, we want to be able to tell ourselves that we have done our best... The rest is up to God...
