Rayyan is outside having his therapy, bawling at the top of his lungs and I am inside the room, down with a bad flu. I must say that at this moment, life sucks. I have been so busy with work, the school holidays may be here but I have not had a day of break yet. Physically I am exhausted, mentally I am drained. Not only do I have to think of the tonnes of work waiting for me, I worry every minute for my son. Every day I feel I am not doing enough for him and I feel really lousy. My confidence is seeping out of me and I am at my all-time low... I sometimes wish that this is all a bad dream... that I would wake up and find my son smiling and calling out for me, that he's just alright, that there's nothing wrong with him...
But I know that this will never happen... that I cannot run away, that this will not go away... I have to face the truth, I have to be strong, my son is depending on me and I simply cannot let him down. But sometimes I ask myself, do I have the strength to face this? My friends have been telling me that I am given this challenge because God knows I can handle it. God won't give us more than what we can handle. But sometimes, I feel that God has too much confidence in me, that God has overestimated me....
Oh God, please give me the strength to face all this, please give me the strength to tackle this challenge, please give me the strength to do all I can to make my son better... please God...
